Yet another study has shown that working mothers can’t have it all. Here is the deal, working mothers have a lower risk of depression than stay-at-home moms, however when it comes to supermoms who have been sold on the idea of having it all – a super career and a fabulous family, it just doesn’t work that way. “Women are sold a story that they can do it all, but most workplaces are still designed for employees without child-care responsibilities,” said Katrina Leupp, a University of Washington sociology graduate student who led the study. In between dropping caring for a child, home and working zealously, there is always a gap and an underlying guilt of thinking you are not doing enough. I know I feel that way.
But there is some light in the tunnel, the study also says that women who expect some roadblocks are more likely to be prepared and have a better mental outcome. Which means, if you go into motherhood as a career woman thinking i’ll break the glass ceiling, raise amazing children and have sex with my husband five times a week, while cooking meals straight out of Martha Stewarts recipe book, you are indeed setting yourself up for failure. Again, there is no reason to believe that no one can achieve that, but most women who are successful claim to have help either from a stay-at-home husband, relative or house-help.
Staying employed is good for a woman’s overall mental well being, however thinking that we can do it all increases our risk for depression. It is okay to get help, or let somebody else do the tutoring. The most important thing is prioritize what is important to you, and attack your list from top to bottom. When you get to a point on your priorities where you feel somebody else can handle, then seek help.
In a press release, Leupp was quoted as saying: “You can happily combine child-rearing and a career, if you’re willing to let some things slide.” But most of the time, you just can’t let things slide, which is the only pitfall in this study. Leupp’s suggestion to let things slide could shortchange your career, which brings us back to why women aren’t breaking the glass-ceiling afterall. My answer is – get your spouse involved. Sometimes, our men come home late from work and are too tired to help around the house, we need to get them up to speed with what is going on in our world. If your husband understands that your career is a priority just as his, then he needs to pick up some slacks around the house.
Nothing will change anytime soon even after this study. Women will continue to go through depression more than men, and women with amazing careers will face the choice of staying home to rear children or pursue their career goals. In the end, we all have to do what is right for our career and family.